College admissions season is stressful, and rejection letters can be a major blow for teens. But don’t worry! Here’s how to help your child navigate disappointment and move forward with a positive outlook.

Understanding rejection: It’s common (and normal)

Many high school seniors face rejection. College acceptance rates are increasingly competitive, so a rejection doesn’t reflect your child’s worth or capabilities.

Communication is key: Open dialogue and validation

• Acknowledge their feelings: Let your child know it’s okay to feel sad, angry or disappointed. Suppressing emotions can hinder healing.
• Active listening: Offer a listening ear without judgment. Validate their feelings and let them express themselves freely.
• Focus on the effort: Emphasize the hard work your child put into the application process and celebrate their achievements.
• Celebrate the application process: Acknowledge the effort and growth your child experienced while researching colleges, writing essays and preparing applications. This emphasizes the value of the process beyond the outcome.

Moving forward with a positive mindset

• Reframing rejection: Help your child view rejection as an opportunity to re-evaluate their options. It’s not the end of the road, but a chance to explore other paths.
• Celebrate other options: Encourage your child to explore acceptances and safety schools. There are excellent colleges and universities beyond their top choices.
• Focus on future goals: Work with your child to explore other pathways to achieve their academic and professional goals. This may involve community colleges, gap years or alternative programs.
• Focus on strengths: Help your child identify their academic strengths, interests and passions. This can guide their exploration of colleges that might be a good fit.

Building resilience: A life lesson

College applications are just one step in your child’s journey. Here’s how to help them develop resilience:

• Focus on the growth mindset: Encourage a belief that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and perseverance.
• Highlight past challenges: Remind your child of past obstacles they’ve overcome. This builds confidence and fosters a “can-do” attitude.
• Develop healthy coping skills: Encourage activities like exercise, journaling or spending time in nature to manage stress and difficult emotions.
• “What if” scenarios: Encourage brainstorming alternative scenarios. “What if” they attend a different school? “What if” they take a gap year? This can open doors to new possibilities.

Rejection doesn’t define your child’s future

By offering support, open communication and a focus on the future, you can help your child navigate college rejections in a healthy and positive way. Remember, there are many paths to success, and a single rejection doesn’t define your child’s journey.

Here are some additional resources to help your child through the college admissions process:

• The National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC)
• The College Board
• Teen Mental Health Resources

Seeking professional help (if needed):  If your child struggles with persistent negative emotions or struggles to cope with rejection, consider seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor.